The Invisible Maze

Don't ask me how, soon after I wrote my last post I found myself in an invisible maze. I had to memorise the route (which changed day by day) and navigate my way through a big empty room without hitting the invisible walls, which would cause my head to vibrate. But first, a bit about Denmark...

My first day in Copenhagen was a bit of a damp squib. Whilst waiting for the rain to calm a bit back at the hostel I started chatting to a Brazilian guy. I told him that I was going to see a few sights and then find a pub that would be playing the Chelsea match and then try and get in touch with a friend of Bjorn’s for something to do in the evening. He liked the sound of that plan and the next thing I knew we were out cruising the town together (when the sun decided to make a cameo). Over the next two days we walked about the place, took in the sights and sounds and talked a lot about football and complained about prices and weather a lot.

Copenhagen is a cool city fully equipped with impressive architecture, a rich history, Vikings, a teeny weeny little mermaid on a rock and loads of people on bikes. I wanted to rent one of these contraptions to aid me in my sightseeing, but unfortunately the deposit was more than the maximum payable amount on my debit card so I had to settle with my trusty feet (sadly, attached to my not so trusty knees). I must have walked well over 1000 miles over the days and the old boys held up well. I was there and saw all of the old buildings and tourist sights, saw Chelsea open up a frosty tin of whoopass on Man City and even went to the erotic museum. The museum starts basically as a surprisingly interesting summary of eroticism (basically old pictures of people getting at it) throughout different periods in history. From here you are taken through to the present day via a maze of artifacts and narrated videos (and even Denmark’s first 'real doll') with a particularly detailed section on Copenhagen's prostitution. This section holds the single greatest museum exhibit I have ever seen. In one corner is a little window with a curtain you are instructed to peek through to get an idea of what a prostitute’s bedroom would have looked like circa 1850. To cut a long story short, it is a few bits of painted cardboard with two shop-window mannequins (nipples and pubes drawn on) moving mechanically to and fro on top of each other with the occasional grunt or groan over a speaker system. I have never laughed so hard. I thought they might throw me out. Sadly, they didn't.

Later, the Copenhagen National Gallery to see a French Master Drawings exhibition (which strangely included Picasso...who wasn't French the last time I checked). This was great, and the Copenhagen national gallery is a wonderful building. It was here that I had my experience with the invisible maze, the basis of my little allegory at the start of this post. You figure out what it means, it was something about traveling but it seems so long ago now the moment is gone. Copenhagen was fun and even though Bjorn’s friend never showed up I had Bienardo to hang out with which was cool. The city was stunning when the sun finally decided to shine, there was no end of cool stuff to do, but eventually I had to leave and it was another goodbye, and onwards to Oslo. I swear by the time I have finished this trip I will have a sofa to sleep on in every country on Earth! I am currently in Oslo having already spent a few days in Bergen (in the west of Norway) but I am rapidly running out of time and as usual I have far to much to say so I guess this is another post cut short. By Sunday I will be in Helsinki at a friend’s house where I may finally be able to get some of my photographs online for you all to see and also finish my Scandinavian adventure!

Now where the hell is the bus to Stockholm?

Heading East Part.2

Why is it that hostels all have the most nonsensical check in/out times? I arrived in Copenhagen today at 8.30AM, went to my hostel only to be told I can't check in until 2PM which irritated me greatly. The place is in a great location though, right in the centre of town, so I can't complain I suppose. Last night was an interesting night, I got to Berlin hoping to be able to easily booking myself a couchette on the Euronight Express from Berlin to Malmö (in Sweden, but only 20minutes from Copenhagen) but wound up having to pay €30 for a proper bed as the couchettes were sold out. It hurt my bank account, but it was nice to have my own room with a nice bed and even a shower in the hall. When the conductor came around asking for my ticket he also asked me to sign a boarding card for a boat telling me that about 3AM we will be setting sail. Just what I needed; having to wake up mid-slumber to climb onto a boat. Much to my surprise, the train actually pulls onto a boat, sails for a few hours and pops back off in Sweden without us having to ever leave our cabins. I didn't even know that was possible! I sincerely hope they made the peasants in the second class couchettes wake up and pull the train on board manually.

Anyway, Prague...

On arriving into Praha my first destination was Dejvicka (pronounced *David's Car*, later to be known simply as The Car) to meet Colin at a pub. Now I was incredibly happy to see Colin again because the last time we parted ways we didn't get much of a chance to say goodbye properly as we had been out that night and a series of events led to me standing on the street alone at about 5AM whilst my him and my other housemates were already on the night bus. I didn't get home until ages later, everybody was tired, went to bed etc etc.... This time we could have a proper send off and we went about it in style. The first night was pure Prague party carnage. Again, accounts are not necessary; anyone who knows me and Colin will pretty much get the idea. Sadly, this left the next day as a bit of a write off, however, sticking to my rules I refused to waste a day and about 9PM I headed out alone to see the City by night leaving Colin and Neva to watch a film on my portable DVD player at home. I decided not to get too adventurous and just headed up Prague castle which I had heard had its ground open until 11PM each night.

Let me say beforehand, if you ever visit Prague and do not visit the castle by night, you may as well have not bothered going. Of all the things I did in my 5 days here, this is the one thing that will stay with me forever. Climbing the old castle steps I completely neglected to actually look behind me until towards the top, an Australian couple about to stroll back down commented on the beautiful view. I turned around and uttered a brief poem which I felt summarised succinctly my emotions at this exact moment in time and space. I like to call it, "Holy Sh*t". Fortunately the couple found this as amusing as I, and I continued to climb until I reached the gates. At around 10PM the castle and grounds were near enough empty which made for an almost ghoulish atmosphere as wandered through the small 'village' that is the inner castle grounds. At the centre of the grounds lies the single most impressive religious structure I may have ever seen. As I turned the corner to view the front of the St. Vitus Cathedral my earlier poem ran through my head but didn't seem to do it justice (plus I doubt Jesus would have appreciated it much as a poem). Standing by the base of the entrance I felt dwarfed in a way no building has made me feel before. I mean I grew up in Hong Kong, so I am no stranger to buildings far bigger than this, but St. Vitus has a presence that makes you feel completely powerless and humbled. Maybe it is a religious thing.

I must have been there for the best part of an hour before some armed guards started to usher me away to close the grounds. I went back and tried to put the place into words but felt it best if we just went again tomorrow by day. We went back and it didn't seem to have the same aura. Maybe it was the hordes of like minded tourists or the lack of dramatic lighting but it simply wasn't the same. We spent the rest of the day doing the usual tourist route over the Charles Bridge into the old town to watch the Astronomical clock chime the hour, I bought a copy of The Trial at the Franz Kafka bookshop and we had a few beers in some nice bars and restaurants.

The rest of my stay passed in much the same way, chatting away the days in the sun with Colin and Niva, enjoying the finest Czech Pilsner, accidentally finding ourselves in the nudist section of the local swimming lake and that sort of thing. I have to say, Prague is one of the greatest places I have been in the world, and one I would jump at the chance to back to any time soon but after 5 days I had already blown my chances of seeing Berlin and didn't want to do the same with Scandinavia so off I went...

...and now, here I am. Copenhagen is calling me and I only have 3 minutes and 12 seconds left on this account, hopefully the sun has tried to shine whilst I have been in here otherwise it could be a damp day, but either way I am sure it will be fun.